Shattered hearts

 My Heart is feeling very weary these days. 

I have read multiple articles of children being killed by a parent. The parent who seems to be calm and collected to the rest of the world, except to the one who is running for that person. The one who asks for help to get to safety is the one who is usually looked as crazy because he/she has emotions. Since when is it ok to punish someone who showed emotion when they were scared? If someone is scared for their kids' lives, they aren't thinking about staying long enough to "get proof", let alone to make sure it's "ENOUGH" proof to satisfy the law. 

I understand both parents have rights to their children, but since when was the parent's right better than the child's right for safety? 

How often have you heard in the news lately of the death of the child/ren, spouse and themselves? This time it wasn't even the spouse. It was a supervisor at a church who was shot before the father killed himself. Who fought for those 3 girls' rights? I can bet that the father looked calm and collected to the outside world. I bet you the poor momma had lost friends along the way because they didn't believe that a good guy like her husband would ever do anything that she was saying. I bet you she didn't have ENOUGH proof to satisfy the law. But SHE GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER because she was afraid for their safety!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So this has GOT TO STOP!

Someone needs to stand up for the victims who are vulnerable and can't stand up for themselves!!!!!! When a parent abuses another parent, that IS abuse towards the kids!!! The kids see it!! 

Domestic Abuse isn't just bruises guys! There is sooo much more to that! And the tricky part is that there is a spiritual abuse that makes it a very tricky thing to maneuver when scripture is used to keep a woman/man in that relationship. 

My hope and dream & prayer is that someday and SOMEDAY SOON, the legal people who are able to do something to protect these children, is that, every Domestic Violence case that comes through the court system will not be taken as JUST an individual case. My prayer is that they will look at the statistics. Look at all the deaths of children who NEEDED protection. Stop saying that both parents have rights to the child and error on the side of safety for the children. I understand that in some cases, this won't happen. The abuse won't be turned to the children. And for those kids, I am thankful to God! But what about the kids who die at such a young age because, even though one parent is running, terrified for theirs and their kids' lives, no one is listening.

To those people who do believe the person who is in this position, you are a ray in their dark dark world. Keep being there for them because they need people to help them walk through this time. 

But when I say NO ONE is listening, I mean the people who could have stepped in (the church, family, the courts, the legal system) to help them get to safety. If you are in this group I am talking to, PLEASE LISTEN CLOSE!!!! Domestic Violence may start VERY small. Hardly noticeable. So small that the victim may not even notice the change happening until years later that she begins her journey to go into hiding. Step up there. Don't try to play "Devil's advocate" here! If someone comes to you with this concern, don't try to do marriage counseling. That's very dangerous & damaging. Don't be a part of the people who abused these victims. Be part of the people who walked through healing for him/her. Listen the first time this is brought up, because I can bet you that bringing it to your attention probably took EVERYTHING out of her to come to you. She was probably afraid of being rejected, un-belived, or even worse, the repercussions of what would happen at home if she was not believed when she spoke up. Instead of getting her to safety, you could be sending her into MORE danger than she was in BEFORE she spoke up. 

We need people around the whole world to stand up for these children!!! Lawyers, Judges, GALs, families, friends, SO many kids are in need of protection, and while some people can say, "You have to trust that God is going to take care of them." That can confuse a person going through this because how can a God protect her children but not other children? What's the difference? Is it that the parent of the child who has more "faith" gets protected by God and the one who may not believe in God because of what she's going through will lose her children because she had a hard time believing in a God was ok with staying in an abusive relationship because the church is telling her to go back home and submit.

If you wonder why so many people are having to step away from the church and learn for themselves what the Bible is actually saying, THIS IS WHY!!! The church is educating women that divorce is a sin. They are not willing to step up and help these women get out and into safety. People are in desperate need of help right now! And children need advocates who will fight for their safety BEFORE they are dead!!! This case, for instance, does anyone who was able to help this woman protect her kids go to her personally and say, "I'm sorry I didn't listen!" Or do they move on from this case and when the next victim who come asking for a restraining order comes, they treat them as if the death of 3 precious little girls didn't just happen??? This world will never get better if we can't learn from our mistakes!!!!! We HAVE to learn from our mistakes for these children's sake!!! 

Saying I'm sorry to the sweet momma will not take away her pain. It will not bring her kids back. And it will not prevent other kids from getting killed by a parent. So what steps can we take to help these kids from getting killed? Listen to the people who come to you for help! Most likely they aren't lying and they DO need help.

Please please please, step up and be there for those who come to you for help. They need you.